Oh, Keano's fucking magic
He wears a magic hat
And when he saw Old Trafford
He said, `I fancy that'
He didn't sign for Arsenal
Or Blackburn 'cos they're shite
He signed for Man United
'Cos they're fucking dynamite

You are my Solskjaer
(To the tune of `You are my Sunshine)

You are my Solskjaer
My Ole Solskjaer
You make me happy
When skies are grey
And Alan Shearer
Was fucking dearer
So please don't take
My Solskjaer, away

Paul Scholes
(To the tune of `Kumbayah)

He scores goals m'lord, he scores goals
He scores goals m'lord, he scores goals
He scores goals m'lord, he scores goals
Paul Scholes, he scores goals

Ryan Giggs

Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs
Running down the wing
Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs
Running down the wing
Feared by the Blues
Loved by the Reds
Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs

Drink, drink
(To the tune of `Lord of the Dance)

Drink, drink wherever you may be
We are the drunk and disorderly
And we don't give a shit, and we don't give a fuck
We're going home with the European Cup!

Poor little Scouser

He's only a poor little Scouser
His face is all battered and torn
He made me feel sick
So I hit him with a brick
And now he don't sing anymore

I yi yippie!

Singing i yi yippie yippie i
Singing i yi yippie yippie i
Singing i yi yippie, i yi yippie
I yi yippie yippie i
If you all hate Scousers clap your hands
If you all hate Scousers clap your hands
If you all hate Scousers, all hate Scousers
All hate Scousers clap your hands

In your Llverpool slums

In your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
You look in the dustbin for something to eat
You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat
In your Liverpool slums

In your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
You shit on the carpet, you piss in the bath
You finger your grandma, and think it's a laugh
In your Liverpool slums

In your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
You speak in an accent exceedingly rare
You wear a pink tracksuit and have curly hair
In your Liverpool slums

In your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
Your mum's on the game and your dad's in the nick
You can't get a job 'cos you're too fucking thick
In your Liverpool slums

We're the best behaved supporters in the land

We're the best behaved supporters in the land
We're the best behaved supporters in the land
We're the best behaved supporters
Best behaved supporters
Best behaved supporters in the land (when we win!)

We're a right bunch of bastards when we lose
We're a right bunch of bastards when we lose
We're a right bunch of bastards
Right bunch of bastards
Right bunch of bastards when we lose

If I had the wings of a sparrow

If I had the wings of a sparrow
If I had the arse of a crow
I'd fly over Maine Road tomorrow
And shit on the bastards below, below
Shit on, shit on
Shit on the bastards below, below
Shit on, shit on
Shit on the bastards below

One song

One song
You've only got one song
You've only got one song
(Directed at Leeds United)

Ruud van Nistelrooy tra-la-la-la-la
Ruud van Nislelrooy tra-la-la-la-la-la
Ruud van Nistelrooy tra-la-la-la-la

Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, running down the wing,
Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, running down the wing,
Feared by the Blues,
Loved by the Reds,
Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs, Ryan Giggs.

Oh, Keano's f*cking magic,
He wears a magic hat,
And when he saw Old Trafford,
He said "I fancy that"
He didn't sign for Arsenal,
Or Blackburn 'cos they're shite,
He signed for Man United,
Because they're fucking dynamite.

You are my Solskjaer my Ole Solskjaer,
You make me happy when skies are grey,
And Alan Shearer was f*cking dearer,
So Please don't take my Solskjaer away.

If I had the wings of a sparrow,
If I had the arse of a crow,
I'd fly over Maine Road tomorrow,
And shit on the bastards below, below,
Shit on, shit on,
Shit on the bastards below, below,
Shit on, shit on,
Shit on the bastards below.

You're the shit of Manchester,
You're the shit of Manchester.
The City sing, I don't know why,
'Cos after the match you're gonna die
Let's all laugh at City,
Ha ha ha ha
In you're bitter blue world,
You don't go to Cardiff,
You don't win no cups,
You hate Man United ,
And hope for f*ck ups,
In you're bitter blue world.

Liverpool

You are a Scouser,
An ugly Scouser,
You're only happy,
On Giro day.
Your mum's out thieving,
Your dad's drug-dealing,
So please don't take my hubcaps away.

You look in the dustbin for something to eat,
You find a dead rat and you think it's a treat,
In your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums,
You shit on the carpet, you piss in the bath,
You finger your grandma, and think its a laugh,
In your Liverpool slums.
In your Liverpool slums,
You speak in an accent exceedingly rare,
You wear a pink tracksuit and have curly hair,
In your Liverpool slums.
In your Liverpool slums,
Your mum's on the game and your dad's in the nick,
You can't get a job 'cos you're too fucking thick,
In your Liverpool slums.

He's only a poor little scouser,
His face is all battered and torn,
He made me feel sick,
So I hit him with a brick,
And now he don't sing anymore.

Leeds

On your Yorkshire farms,
You pester the lambs when you hide in the grass,
You'd rather shag sheep than a fit normal lass,
On your Yorkshire farms.

We all hate Leeds scum,
We all hate Leeds scum,
We all hate Leeds scum,
We all hate Leeds scum,
He's red he's white,
He knew Leeds were shite,
Cantona, Cantona
Leeds are our feeder club,
Leeds are our feeder club,
Leeds are our feeder club,
Leeds are our feeder club,

General

What the hell do we care? What the hell do we care?
Hail! Hail! The Reds are here,
What the hell do we care now?
For it's a grand old team to play for,
And it's a grand old team to see,
And if you know your history,
It's enough to make your heart go woah-oh...
We don't care what the City fans say,
What the hell do we care?
All we know is there's gonna be a show,
And the famous Man United will be there.