Alex
Ferguson is curious how Arsenal reached the double last
year, so he decides on a visit to London to see how
Arsene Wenger coaches his team. After one day he is
not really impressed by the training practices, so he
asks Wenger how he gets his players so sharp. 'Well
it is simple. I sometimes ask my players a difficult
question, and that way they stay really sharp mentally'.
Of course Fergie wants an example, so Wenger asks Bergkamp
to come over to the sidelines. He asks: 'Dennis, he
is not your brother, but still he is your father's son.
Who is he?' 'That is not difficult', Dennis answers
immediately, 'Of course that is me'. 'You see? That's
the way you keep them sharp', Wenger says to Fergie.
Ferguson, who wants to win the double also, decides
to bring this into Manchester United's practice the
next day. He calls David Beckham over to the sidelines.
'David, I have a question for you', he says, 'He is
not your brother, but still he is your father's son,
who is he?' 'My God, Coach', is the Spice Boy's reply,
'That is a tough one to answer, can I sleep on that
one night, and why do you ask me these questions?' Fergie
explains it has to do with some continental coaching
trick and agrees with the one night postponement. So
that night Beckham decides to call Jaap Stam. He has
played on the continent, maybe he knows something about
these continental coaching methods. 'Jaap, maybe you
know the answer to this question, he is not your brother,
but still he is your father's son. Who is he?' 'That
is easy, that is me!', says Jaap Stam. So the next day
David walks full of confidence to Ferguson. Fergie asks:
'David, do you know the answer to my question now?'.
'Yes it was actually very easy', he says, 'Is it Jaap
Stam?' Ferguson answers: 'No of course not you stupid
b*****d. It's Dennis Bergkamp.
Fire
brigade phones Arsene Wenger in the early hours of
Sunday morning...
"Mr Wenger sir, Highbury is on fire!"
"The cups man! Save the cups!" replies Arsene.
"Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet,
sir."
You're
trapped in a room with a tiger, a rattlesnake, and an Arsenal Fan.
You have a gun with two bullets. What should you do?
Shoot the Arsenal Fan. Twice.
Thiery Henry
was recently quizzed by police about an alleged, unprovoked
attack on a pregnant woman.
When asked why he attacked the woman, he replied: "I didn't
realise that she was pregnant, I thought that it was a 50-50 ball
that she had up her jumper!!!"
Wenger
told his wife he was going out shopping.
"What are you going for?" she asked.
Wenger replied, "I'm getting some pizzas, some booze, oh and
a new pair of gloves for my Keeper."
"Sounds like a good swap to me," said his wife!
why
do they call wenger hitler?
because he cant win in europe either.
What
is the difference between Arsenal and a cup of tea?
A. The tea stays in the cup longer!
The
seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a
cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells
down to them. In the distance a voice shouts out "Arsenal"
are good enough to win the European Cup." Snow
White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"
Terry
Venables and Arsene Wenger are getting interviewed at the end of
last season and the interviewer turns to Wenger :"So
Arsene after a few disastrous results in the last couple of
weeks where do you see Arsenals season going from here?" "Well,
as I said at the start of the season, our main aim is to win
the Premier league and I still think we're in with a good
chance!" Interviewer turns to Venables: "So then
Terry, what do you think of Palaces prospects then?" "Well
I'm hoping that we'll go up as champions and probably win
the FA Cup, then take the Premiership by storm in a couple
of years, with a possible Grand Slam of all major domestic
trophies!" The interviewer is a bit shocked and turns round
to Venables and says:
"You're not serious, surely?" "Well Arsene bloody
started it!!"
One day, a Spurs fan man was walking along the beach and came across
an odd-looking bottle. Not being one to ignore tradition,
he rubbed it and, much to his surprise, a Genie actually appeared.
"For releasing me from the bottle, I will grant you three
wishes," said the Genie. The man was ecstatic. "But there's
a catch," the Genie continued. "What catch?"
asked the man, eyeing the Genie suspiciously. The Genie replied,
"For each of your wishes, every Arsenal supporter in the world
will receive double what you asked for." "Hey, I
can live with that! No problem!" replied the elated man.
"What is your first wish?" asked the Genie. "Well,
I've always wanted a Ferrari!" Poof ! A Ferrari appeared
in front of the man. "Now, every gooner r in the world has
been given two Ferraris," said the Genie. "What is
your next wish?" "I could really use a million dollars..."
replied the man, and Poof! One million dollars appeared at
his feet. "Now, every Gooner in the world is two million
dollars richer," the Genie reminded the man. "Well, that's
okay, as long as I've got my million," replied the spurs
fan. "And what is your final wish?" asked the Genie. The
man thought long and hard, and finally said, "Well, you know,
I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."
There was a Arsenal. fan with a really crappy seat at Highbury.
Looking with his binoculars he spotted an empty seat on the
half way line. Thinking to himself "What a waste",
he made his way down to the empty seat. When he arrived at the
seat, he asked the man sitting next to it, "Is this seat taken?"
The man replied, "This was my wife's seat. She passed away.
She was a big Arsenal fan."
The other man replied, "I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.
May I ask you why you didn't give the ticket to a friend or
a relative?" The man replied, "They're all at the
funeral."
More Jokes Here....
|
